Conquering something....
Internally, I think I am conquering something. I don’t know what that is yet. I don’t know how to word it yet. Yet, I feel something. In my life so far, this feeling is not the first. It could be the second or third time. In the beginning, I didn’t pay any attention to it, so I lost it without realizing that I was feeling it. This time around, it feels familiar, yet I don’t have descriptive words for it. Maybe that is the point. In my life, I was always the eldest one; I still am. In Asian culture, that entails buckets of responsibilities and expectations. I never learned how to complain, to relax, or to feel confident. I have gotten used to a lot of things. I have gotten used to taking care of my family without complaining, like doing the dishes or making sure the laundry was done. I have gotten used to not being heard or thinking I am not smart enough after hearing a criticism when I was heard. As an adult now, I don’t pity my younger self. It is actually the opposite. I am grateful ...