I Eat Everyday

So, again, work drama happened.   It started on Friday. In the morning, the program director called in sick. He wasn’t feeling well because of his treatment. He called in another teacher to cover his morning class. That was that.   The problem was that there wasn’t anyone who could cover his afternoon classes, which he had two. We were asking other teachers to see if they could come in and cover his classes. Nobody was available cause it is last minute. That is understandable.   So, the lady who handles all the documents texted him and asked if he could come in only for the afternoon. In the text, he could come in.   Then, as soon as he came in, he went to the office and asked why she didn’t cancel the classes. Based on my own experience with him, his tone of voice or body language spoke louder than his actual words. He raised his voice at her. He even compared his illness to other people’s illnesses. That we all understand. She was just doing her job and asked him j...

  Please be warned that this post might trigger mental health issues and depression. Please know that there is always help if you are struggling. Please have the courage to reach out.       My first thought of taking my own life came to me when I was driving. At that moment, all I thought to myself was, everything I am feeling; feeling of uselessness, feeling of I am not doing enough, feeling of self-blame, feeling of shame, feeling of responsibilities, feeling of my father's guilt, feeling of my mother's vulnerability, would stop if I were not breathing. I entertained the idea a couple more times. It will start with a thought of what I can do to help my parents. Then it will spiral down; I would think I should have studied things that my father could have used; I should have brought an American investor; I should have done this and that. This spiral thinking will stop at the bottom with one escape. My baby brother (he was 4 or 5) was the one who carried all of ...

Please be warned that this post might trigger mental health issues and depression. Please know that there is always help if you are struggling. Please have the courage to reach out.  In my life, several things trigger emotions in me. When I was a little bit younger, I didn't really notice them or care for them. As I think and analyze more about myself and my surroundings, I have started to notice them. It is fair to say that this process has been happening since 2017. When I was in my teens, I had the "disease to please" everyone (Oprah called it), especially my parents. Like any teenager, I tried to fit in and get good grades. Whose sake? Most likely for the approval of my parents. With my hard work, I got As and Bs on most subjects except English. It is funny. English was my least favorite subject, yet I studied in America, and I use English for my work. Don't give wrong, I liked the praise. Given my surroundings and education at that point, my view of life or anyth...

     First of all, Happy New Year to you and your loved ones. I hope this year will bring you what you have wished for.       Secondly, as the new year begins, we all like to put some impossible challenges in the name of resolution and changing ourselves. I did that every single year. Then every single year, by the end of it, I blame myself for not completing the things that I said to myself that I would accomplish that year. So, this year, I said to myself that I would do only one thing. That is, I will not put a challenge for myself. I will do things that I will like and do those things with a mindset of someone who wants to be a better human being.       Lastly, I would like to see new areas and take an international trip.       That is it for now.       I have more things to share about our family roadtrip and work ski trip. Also, all the drama about my work, of course.     ...

     So, it was a long Saturday.       In the morning, I had First-Aid training, which I wanted to attend to refresh my memory (I got certified last year).       A background story is needed here.       A few weeks ago, the person, whose position had only received a name makeover, wanted to have a training session without consulting anyone. That is fine. It is a good chance to learn from each other and discuss more about our programs. Then he sent an email about BBQ. In the beginning, everybody thought it was only for the staff, where we would casually hang out and get to know each other better. Then he sent another email saying that we are going to open up the BBQ to our students and their parents. It got escalated quickly because he decided he wanted to do it. Then he complained about the menu item, which he wanted to cook a burger. Also, he was second-guessing (or more like doubting) the lady who is working wi...

 Today, I had a dental appointment. Going out in this heat, I didn't want to but I had to.  As soon as I open the door and step out, the humidity and the heat hit me. I immediately start sweating, and I can feel that my cap is getting wet. I was worried about my body because my stomach was weird last night which made me vomit.  Then as soon as you step into a carriage of the train, it is cold. I felt cold. The extremes of hot and cold affect my body. It sounds weird, but I usually get cold during the summer in Japan because of this.  My dentist got a new chair, and it looked very fancy. She told me that I need a small-headed toothbrush for my molars because my Oral-B head is not small enough to reach back there. So, I got one. On the way home, I stopped by the supermarket. Purchased avocados to make a toast. It was yum.  Right now, I am sitting and finishing my last assignments of a course I am taking online, and sweating.  Oh, I restarted my fasting and di...

 Work drama 2 Here is what happened.       At the beginning of the year, several structural changes were implemented. At least, they are in work-in-progress. My position didn't change but got the official recognition of the work that I was doing for the last 5 years.       We had a head teacher. That person became the English School Director, which is basically the same position but a different name. Because he is in this new position, he thinks he has to butt in everybody's job. According to his new job description, he has to know everybody's work and schedule. However, he is not doing a good job of it or demanding the position responsibilities from the lady who does all the things aka my supervisor. It has been years since he only has a title and she does everything because she is Japanese. He can't speak Japanese even though he has been living here for more than two decades. I understand it is very easy to live in a bubble where you don't ...

     Every day has been over 30 degrees Celsius. During this heat, it is smelly if you are riding trains like me. don't think Japanese people realize that they stink.       Imagine this: you are standing next to a guy whose arm is stretched to hold on to the rail. You get a whiff of his underarm smell, and you must stand next to him until he or you get off because the train is packed. After all, it is rush hour. OR… you finally get a seat next to a guy. That guy is talking to someone that is sitting next to him. Every time he opens his mouth, you get the smell of someone who is not in the habit of brushing his teeth. Again, you must sit next to him because the train is packed. AND…you wish you had a mask to put on.       I don’t think Japanese people realize that they stink or don’t care about personal hygiene. Sounds ironic. Japan is the land of onsens and public bathhouses.       The majority of the time, you w...

I always wanted to create stuff. I use and create a lot of slides and worksheets. I thought I would share my creation here.  There is a little voice telling me "There are better creators than me." Then there is another voice telling me "Go ahead, you will get better." Before, I might have listened to the first voice, but I am learning to listen to the latter.  Here we go. We cook several times a semester. This is the first one that we made. I have read several recipes and adjusted the ingredients based on my students' allergies.  PS: I forgot to take a photo of our finished product. So, I used a photo from MySpiceTrunk.com.  Korean Pancake  

     There are so many easy fixes that help with traffic jams around the world. Two arguments are happening in my mind. One is that those easy fixes work because everybody is polite and mannered while driving. Good manners happen everywhere and all the time. Maybe Mongolians lack that and cannot be better than they are now. The other argument is Mongolians ignore road safety rules and laws. Rules and regulations are in place to provide everybody with a safe journey from Point A to B. Maybe Mongolians ignore all of them when they are behind the wheel and think it is "survival of the fittest."       Like any problem, it is a combination of everything. One part concerns the lack of mannerisms, another part is the ignorance of the rules and regulations, another part is that everybody feels that everybody else has to give way, another part is that lights change too fast, and another part is maybe the lack of sufficient parking.       One...

     I have noticed that people do things with a half-assed attitude in Mongolia, or rather, people who are building stuff don't have any architectural sense or imagination. Here is what I mean.       I went to a specific store with my parents. Right next to the store, there was a ramp and a staircase (built together). The only purpose that was done was to provide access to people, including a wheelchairs. The ramp and staircase are providing that. However, it was built only using the concrete mixture. There is no architectural sense or beauty. When I saw them, I felt ashamed and sad for everybody. I felt ashamed because even now, at least during my lifetime, people are treating their job out of spite for the Mongolian corrupt government. I felt sad because the project could have brought some gentrification to the area, and the people who executed the project don't have the decency to think a little more than what was required of them.   ...