Finally, a full day at home

     It has been non-stop since I got back from Mongolia. First, I had to move. I had three weeks before I had to return the apartment. I moved several boxes a day. Then my father came to help. While he was here, we had to drive to Kochi, which took three days. I drove 12 hours each way. Then it was moving week for both me and my cousins. A day before we actually moved the last of the furniture, my cousins got a phone call. It was dreadful news. Their father had passed away due to his illness. As soon as we finished moving, or more like shoving things into the house, they had to prepare to go back to Mongolia for the funeral. That week was horrible.      Then it was time to look for a parking spot for the car. The house comes with a parking spot, but we have two cars, so we needed to find a spot for the second car. It was a stressful week right after my cousins had left for Mongolia, because I had to park the car at the coin parking since my cousin hadn’t f...
Post a Comment

It always feels sad to say goodbye.

    It always feels sad to say goodbye. 

    It has been almost a month since I came home. I helped my parents, especially my mom, move things and clean. My mom just started a tourist base an hour from the city center. There were a lot of things to do, specifically, little things that needed to be done. Then I became an inpatient at Bodi Setgelten (the one I was hospitalized back in May of this year). I spent 5 days and got home today. Now, I have a few more days before I go. 

    No matter how many times I have said goodbye to my family and friends, I always feel sad. Initially, I felt like crying. I cried once when I had to leave my 3-month-old brother. Even though I don't cry anymore, I always feel sad. 

    Back in May, I thought to myself that I needed to come back home at least once a year. It helps my sanity and physically ( I am in a cooler environment when it is the hottest in Japan).  Also, I get to help my parents and stay connected with my friends and relatives. So, I plan to come back home every year. 

    I started preparing my luggage today. The feeling came back. The feeling is that it's my inner battle with myself. 

ME#1: You should stay home. 

ME#2: I can't. I have a job. 

ME#1: You should help your parents. 

ME#2: I am helping them.

ME#1: You can find a different job.

ME#2: The salary is too low.

ME#1: Who is going to help your parents when they are not well?

ME#2: They are healthy and doing just fine.

    It goes like this. I am feeling guilty for going to a different country. I feel guilty for not helping my parents and not being near them. I am feeling guilty for not being there for my siblings. HOWEVER, at this moment in my life, everything is okay. My parents are healthy and working. My sister is figuring things out and focusing on her health. My brother will start his high school in Japan. There are a lot of "what ifs." I know, and my family knows that when "what if" happens, things will be different. 

    For people like me who live and work in a different country, things are hard for us. We try to manage by ourselves. We ask for help from the people who have lived longer than we have. We ask for help from our coworkers. We feel lonely from time to time. We worry about our families. We hide our tears behind a smile. We tell white lies in order not to worry our parents and loved ones. I digress. 

    See you!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Getting ill from the Lunar New Year Celebration

     Getting home on Sunday evening from our Lunar New Year celebration, I started to feel sick. The funny thing is that I know what I ate that made me ill. It was the good old lamb meat.       Living in Japan, I mostly eat beef, pork, and chicken. Sometimes, I cook internal organs such as the liver or heart.       For the celebration, my cousin and his girlfriend cooked some lamb meat. I had a few pieces along with the famous buuz. Halfway through the dinner, my stomach started to bloat, and it began to feel very uncomfortable. Right then, I knew I was going to be sick.       I got home fine and started to continue working on the small gifts that I was making for my students, who were graduating in a couple of weeks. Slowly, my stomach started to act up. My visits to the toilet increased and I felt sick every time I sat in front of the toilet ready to vomit. After a couple of hours, it happened, everything that ...
Read more

Japan has a sweaty season.

     It is mid-June, and it is starting to get hot. We are still rainy season. However, it is hot when it is sunny.      Japan has a lot to see if you are traveling. On top of that, if you like the summer season, I applaud you.       I don't like the summer season. It probably is my least favorite of the seasons. Japanese summer, I would call it, the sweaty season.       If you are like me who sweat easily, the one you sweat through the crack of your butt, you will not like Japanese summer.       So, the sweaty season of the year has started. At this moment, it is tolerable. There will be a nice breeze, like today, once in a while. I feel overall okay when going out (of course with my hat and sunscreen).        Once July starts and rolls over to August, that is when it becomes unbearable. I would sweat just sitting still. I felt that last year when I broke bones in my foot ...
Read more

Stinky Japanese

     Every day has been over 30 degrees Celsius. During this heat, it is smelly if you are riding trains like me. don't think Japanese people realize that they stink.       Imagine this: you are standing next to a guy whose arm is stretched to hold on to the rail. You get a whiff of his underarm smell, and you must stand next to him until he or you get off because the train is packed. After all, it is rush hour. OR… you finally get a seat next to a guy. That guy is talking to someone that is sitting next to him. Every time he opens his mouth, you get the smell of someone who is not in the habit of brushing his teeth. Again, you must sit next to him because the train is packed. AND…you wish you had a mask to put on.       I don’t think Japanese people realize that they stink or don’t care about personal hygiene. Sounds ironic. Japan is the land of onsens and public bathhouses.       The majority of the time, you w...
Read more